The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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