Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
