So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
