Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
