What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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