A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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