I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
