he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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