Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
