I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
