Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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