I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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