I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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