He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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