whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
