If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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