now i know why i became what i already was.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
