I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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