rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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