Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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