that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
