How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
