how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
