Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
