I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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