Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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