The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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