i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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