is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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