Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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