I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
