I'm eating all of the evidence.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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