She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
