Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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