so that wasnt chicken after all
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
