Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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