your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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