Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
