well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
