Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
