Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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