shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
