these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
