Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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