I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize