this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
