you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
