3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize