We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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