a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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