You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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