Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize