I'm really into asian looking animals
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
