...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
farters have to be the big spoon...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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