found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
