In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize